Wednesday 28 January 2015

Writing a New Book & the Poverty Gap between Rich and Poor!

A New Book is on its way:

'The League of Disgusting Gentlemen' will be out soon!



My apologies for the lack of new posts the previous week, but guess what – I’ve been writing again!

The next ‘Beastly Bullies’ Children’s Book is in the process of being written. It is suitably titled The League of Disgusting Gentlemen’.

It tells the tale of two horrible rivals who must compete in a disgusting contest to see who will become the next President of The League of Disgusting Gentlemen’. However, things soon get out of hand as they bribe their own daughters to get involved in the struggle, as things become increasingly disgusting and even rather dangerous.

I don’t want to give too much away as it is still a ‘work in progress’, but it will be my lengthiest ever book and I am writing it for 9 to 12 years olds (although younger advanced readers or young teenagers might also like it).

So, watch this space – The League of Disgusting Gentlemen’ will be out in the next month or so! In the meantime, you can enjoy reading the first release in the ‘Beastly Bullies’ Children’s Story book collection: ‘DoctorGremlin and the Battle of the Brats’, available on Amazon:
  


The Gap Between Rich and Poor: it's Growing!


This rather disturbed me so I then did some extra research into the gap between the ‘rich and poor’, I soon discovered that the wealthiest 85 people in the world have more money than the poorest 3.5 billion(!!!), as the BBC tells us here: 

I ask you, is this acceptable? It affects all of us, not least our children! It is most worrying that some of the richest people in the world don’t seem to care at all about the poorest.


To make things worse, by 2016 apparently the top 1% of people on Earth (‘top’ meaning financially, not spiritually!) will own more than the other 99% of humans combined. Inequality is apparently as bad as it’s ever been. You can read more here:


A couple of good books about how the rich selfishly keep on getting richer and how the rest of us must struggle to avoid becoming poorer as a result are:


Hand to Mouth is written by the inspiring Linda Tirado (whom I have seen speak very eloquently about how someone very poor can be much more intelligent than somebody who is very rich. We are who we are, not what we have!).

perkins confessions economic hit man
A firsthand account of international abuses of power

Confessions of an Economic Hit Man by John Perkins – a ‘behind the scenes’ look at how rich countries exploit poor ones and keep their ‘fat cats’ rich and everyone else without financial freedom.

***

Well, I hope you’re not too depressed after reading this sad pause for thought on the state of the world and its ‘haves and have nots’. But if you are, you could try cheering yourself or your kids up with one of my books – (sorry, I have to suggest it):

humorous kids' book
Cheer you or your kids up with a book

I looked for some good resources for kids on the topic of the wealth of the world (or lack of it) but, I couldn't find any! If you know of any, please share them with us in the comment box, thanks. In the meantime, I plan to read this book if I can find the time:

wealth poverty nations landes
Wealth and Poverty - a description

Ok, thanks for reading and take good care of yourselves. I hope to be back soon with some Scientific Facts to blow your mind (or at least cheer you up – it’s easier not to worry too much about the world of humans once you know how big the Universe is or how small a photon is!)!


Saturday 17 January 2015

Top Ten Amazing Space Facts

Top Ten Amazing Space Facts!

(Boost your general knowledge!)


I’ve had my nose buried in the books this week, as I’ve somewhat belatedly rediscovered my love for science (which has luckily coincided with writer’s block!).

My only regret is that I didn’t study this stuff more when I was younger (hating being stuck in school was probably one reason for that – ironic isn’t it!), as now my memory is rather damaged...

At least I suppose one benefit of having a poor memory is being able to enjoy the same thing again and again, like when my mother watches repeats of murder mysteries on TV as she can never remember ‘who dunnit’ in the first place!

Currently on the tables next to my bed, sofa and in the kitchen are the following brilliant books:

‘History Year by Year’ and ‘The Natural History Book’ from DK Publishing, the ‘Space’, ‘Body’ and ‘Science’ Encyclopedias from Miles Kelly, and (also highly recommended) Bill Bryson’s 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' – no other book is as informative and amusing at the same time!


Some of the things I’ve recently learned from the above books are just as remarkable as anything I’ve ever read in any fiction.

Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing this information with you in the form of the 'Top Ten Amazing Facts' that I can find, starting today with the ‘Space Encyclopedia’ which covers everything from unimaginably small electrons whizzing around inside atoms to clusters of galaxies spreading out over trillions and trillions of kilometers.

It also tells us about the Earth, what it’s made of, its atmosphere, the tides, you name it! For instance, have a chew on these amazing space-related facts...

A Concise Space Encyclopedia
A Concise Space Encyclopedia


Top Ten Space facts


Space Fact 10: Crazy Cosmonaut

Cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov spent 437 consecutive days in space! He couldn’t even walk when he landed back on Earth because of the return to gravity. If the air pressure on his spacecraft were to break, his blood would have boiled! To remain in orbit 200km above Earth, he had to fly at 8 km per second. Check out this clip of footage taken by astronauts from space:

Footage of Earth from space
Footage of Earth from space

Space Fact 9: Voyager Catapult

The Voyager 2 probe has already flown over 10 billion km from Earth and is still going. It uses the gravity of planets it passes by to catapult it onwards.
Learn more Voyager 2 space probe
Learn more about the Voyager 2 space probe

Space Fact 8: Scouse Astronomy

You can see about 2000 stars at night with the ‘naked’ eye. You can only ever see 3% of what is in the universe, as the rest is dark energy and matter... Galileo was the first person to recognise the Milky Way through a telescope, describing it as ‘conergies of innumerable stars.’

My own hero of astronomy is Jeremiah Horrocks of Liverpool, who was the first person to predict and chart the transit of Venus aged just 19 years old! (if you ever visit the World Museum Liverpool, they have a really cool exhibit about him next to the Planetarium).

life of Jeremiah Horrocks
Read here about the remarkable life of Jeremiah Horrocks

Space Fact 7: Far, far away...

Light travels at 300,000 km per second (it takes 8 minutes for light to reach us from the sun). Space is so big that distances are measured in light years (ly) with 1 ly being 9.5 trillion km(!!!).

Space Fact 6: Seeing into the past!

Since the Big Bang 14 billion years ago, most galaxies have been moving outwards, with some travelling at 90% the speed of light. When your TV goes fuzzy, you are in fact watching cosmic radiation from the start of the universe itself.
When you are looking at the stars and galaxies, you are effectively looking back in time. For instance, the star Deneb is 1800ly away, so you are seeing it as it was in the time of Roman Emperor Septimus Severius in 200AD. However, the most powerful telescopes can see galaxies 2 billion(!) ly away.

Space Fact 5: We are made of star dust?

A supernova (exploding star) releases 125,000 trillion times the energy that came from the murderous Hiroshima bomb and shines brighter than 100 billion stars combined! They only last for less than a week and many of the elements that make up our bodies (such as carbon and iron) actually come from them.
Supernova Explosion
Supernova Explosion

Even brighter than a supernova is a quasar, which can glow as brightly as 100 galaxies and has the mass of a hundred million suns due to the black hole at its center.

learn more about Quasars
Click here to learn more about Quasars

Space Fact 4: Death by sand!

The heart of a star can reach 16 million degrees Celsius. A grain of sand at this temperature would burn you to death from 150 km away (COOL!).

Inside a star - how hot can it get
Inside a star - how hot can it get?

Space Fact 3: Magnetic Whiskers

Neutron (collapsed) stars are so dense that just a table spoon of one weighs about a million tons. They have incredibly strong magnetic fields (billions of times stronger than that of the Earth) which stretch atoms out into ‘frizzy’ whiskers on the star’s surface. Because neutron stars are so dense they have an enormous gravitational pull for such small space objects (they sometimes only measure about 20 km across).

Isaac Newton’s theory on gravity and his 3 other laws of motion have helped astronomers work out the pull and movement of every planet, star and galaxy they can see in the universe. He was one of the cleverest people who ever lived, but he also stared at the sun and stuck a spike in through his eye socket just to see what would happen – an eccentric genius eh.

eccentric genius Isaac Newton
Find out more about the eccentric genius Isaac Newton

Space Fact 2: Human Spaghetti

Black holes have so much gravity that they keep entire galaxies intact and spinning around them. Indeed, the reason most galaxies are brighter in the middle is because light cannot escape a black hole so it ‘sticks’ on its ‘event horizon’ (edge).

If a human were sucked into a black hole, they would be stretched out like spaghetti. Black holes (sucking you in) and white holes (spitting you out) can join together to form ‘wormholes’ which can distort space and time, as the crew of the Red Dwarf discovered in Season 6's hilarious 'Rimmerworld'.

Red Dwarf crew white hole
The Red Dwarf crew

Space Fact 1: Out of reach...

There are over 500 billion galaxies in the universe, each one containing up to trillions of stars. The Milky Way is 100,000 ly across and 1000 ly deep, containing over 100 billion stars. The sun takes 200 million years to orbit around it and the next nearest star to us is trillions of kilometers away.

It appears quite a challenge for aliens to visit us after all, and if they went to the trouble of travelling all that way, do you think they’d just hover in the sky for a moment and disappear again? Or maybe they do because they just don’t like the look of us... which is understandable!

Our galaxy: the Milky Way
Our galaxy: the Milky Way


Well, there you have it. I highly recommend that you take a break from whatever fiction you’re in the middle of (unless it's one of my books!) and also learn more about the ‘the miracle of science and nature’ and our place in the universe and how it works (we can never know enough eh).

Space distances, the size and number of galaxies, the speed and age of the Earth, if we’re not finding out about this stuff or aware that we can actually be experiencing it all around us, then are we spending our time here wisely? 

Do you have any Amazing Space Facts to share? Let us know...


Saturday 10 January 2015

Self-publishing guide to POD with Createspace: 'Smell of Poo' Children's Book out in paperback!

The 'Smell of Poo' Children's Book Collection is now available in print!

FYI EDIT 2020: Createspace has now been merged with Amazon Kindle pages. It is now easier to format and publish a print book using 'Kindle Create':

Use Kindle Create to help publish your paperback book


***

After completing the rather arduous task of formatting the text and cover design to suit a high quality paperback edition (see the guide below so you may benefit from this experience), the 'Smell of Poo' collection is now available in print - for those of you who prefer to hold the actual book in your hands (I still prefer the feel of paper to holding my kindle, but maybe I'm just old fashioned?).

You can find it with all the information you need here:

smell poo funny children's book print
The 'Smell of Poo' is now out in glossy paperback!

How to prepare, format and process your book on Createspace - an easy 'Print on Demand' self-publishing guide:

Even though I don't expect to sell too many print versions as they are more expensive than the ebook version, it'll be nice to give out a few copies to friends and family (my parents are afraid of anything with buttons anyway), so the whole POD process has already been worth it in my view...

With regard to the formatting process, people can charge a lot of money to help you but I recommend being patient and trying to manage it for yourself (as much as I appreciate Createspace and their enabling self-publishing authors to print on demand, I did raise my eyebrows at their fees - hence this advice).

If it's just a regular paperback you're going for, i.e. no colour or pictures inside, then it's not too tricky. Just remember to set your margins for the text, have someone redo your cover design with a blurb on the back, and tick all the necessary boxes in createspace in their step by step self-publishing process.

Firstly, for text formatting, you can see the margin requirements here (6x9 is the recommended book size for most regular fiction):
createspace printing options
createspace printing options

For further advice on this, The Creative Penn is as helpful as ever:
creative penn self-publishing printing advice
Print on demand self-publishing advice
Then, go to Fiverr to find someone who can 'redesign' your ebook cover into a paperback cover with all the right dimensions, etc (it needs to be 300dpi, by the way). Personally I used 'Fluxydesign' who I hope you agree did a nice job:
fiverr createspace POD cover design
createspace POD cover design

children's funny poo paperback cover
Here's the full glossy paperback cover with spine - not bad eh?
Createspace give you a choice of 'matte' or 'glossy' covers. They say that matte is better for fiction / glossy for non-fiction, however for children's books I was advised by an experienced self-published author (see the next link) to still go with glossy - aren't we all usually still drawn to shinier things after all..?
Matte or Glossy book cover
Matte or Glossy book cover?
For the book description section, make sure you have your 'metadata' ready with lots of keywords to help your readers find your book, while also making sure it matches what is in the book itself! Here's a few hints and tips from 'The Book Designer':
Guide to Metadata / Keywords for ebooks bookdesigner
Guide to Metadata / Keywords for ebooks
Incidentally, Createspace also give you the option of choosing a FREE ISBN for your book, which will save you a fair bit of change if you're on a budget.

Everything else in the createspace process was so simple that I'm sure most people will be ok, i.e. selecting distribution channels, pricing and so on - it's a bit of a 'no brainer' really and basically depends on your own intentions.

However, it isn't too obvious that you can 'create' your own createspace estore! It is already set up for your but you can change the colours and background and even add your own banner. Here is a guide to help you along with this:
publishing solo guide createspace estore
Guide to creating your own Createspace 'estore'!
For resizing an image for your banner (good luck with this!) I found the best way was to simply do a 'print screen', paste it into Microsoft Paint, then resize it there. This link might help you if you're as 'techno challenged' as me..:
Guide to 'resizing' with Microsoft Paint
Guide to 'resizing' with Microsoft Paint
Phew, having just written this post it actually seems like quite a lot - but compared to going through the process of finding an agent, then finding a publisher, then getting published and making any kind of profit or reaching a potentially large audience, Createspace and their kind are heaven sent!

Good luck with the self-publishing process! If you have any other useful hints or tips, please leave a comment...
smell poo funny children's book print
The 'Smell of Poo' is now out in glossy paperback!

Tuesday 6 January 2015

The Top Ten Best Ever Children’s Books!

The Top Ten Best Ever Children’s Books!

Which are your favourite stories? Do you agree with any of this list?

(Click on the covers image captions below to visit each book's page on Goodreads)

1. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by JK Rowling

I was so hooked by ‘The Goblet of Fire’ that I simply had to finish it the day I first opened it. Addictive characters, plot twists and pure, well crafted escapism, I raced through it. My advice to children (and adults for that matter) who haven’t yet read the books is to do it now, before watching the movies. As excellent as the films are, they rob the reader of their imagination, something that JK Rowling really opens up with her writing style. 'Goblet of Fire' isn't just my favourite ever kids' book - it's my favourite ever book!

hobbit tolkein
No.2: The Hobbit

 2. The Hobbit by JRR Tolkein

My second best ever Children’s book is another classic fantasy. Tolkein manages to create an entire world (literally) in the reader’s mind; Goblins, wizards, trolls, evil spirits, elves, dwarves, dragons, he is truly the Grandfather of fantasy fiction. From the Shire all the way to the battle of the five armies, Bilbo takes us on a truly amazing adventure. Another one where you must read the book before watching the movies!

lion witch wardrobe cover
No.3: Lion, Witch & the Wardrobe

3. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by CS Lewis

My favourite thing about The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is the idea of accidentally using a portal to suddenly appear in a fantastical world, where you can even grow old and then still return as a child. Such a concept was still rather new at the time C S Lewis wrote his timeless classic. Some excellent creatures and characters in a setting where you feel anything can happen, this battle of good against evil and the sequels once kept me busy throughout an entire school holiday.

dahl bfg cover
No.4: The BFG

 4. The BFG by Roald Dahl

Roald Dahl accounted for about half of my memorable childhood reading and my sisters and I loved the humour and crazy language found throughout the BFG. I usually never liked being spoon fed images in books but Quentin Blake’s illustrations really added to an already brilliant story. 
 


5. Kensuke’s Kingdom by Michael Morpurgo

Kensuke’s Kingdom is a great escapist’s tale with a nice mixture of making the reader wish they were in the story too while at the same time being grateful that they are not! Following how Kensuke slowly reveals more positive aspects of his personality whilst enticing you to wonder more about his past, my class loved putting themselves in the footsteps of the main character. In fact, reading this book a little bit at the end of each day (initially as a calming exercise) helped me turn around a ‘notorious’ Year 6 class into a group of avid readers at a very inclusive London Primary School (we also had the audio book as some children still struggled with the words).

rowling azkaban cover
No.6: Prisoner of Azkaban

6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling

As good as the first two books in the Harry Potter series were, I feel The Prisoner of Azkaban was really the one that made me realise I was reading an incredible series as I became more engrossed in his wizarding world. The introduction of more complex characters, the further development of relationships, visiting new places such as Hogsmeade and with more twists and turns than a snake’s obstacle course, the quality of Azkaban means JK Rowling is the only author to feature in this Top Ten more than once.


7. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

With its brilliant, varied characters and a plot that leads the reader to develop an affinity with – and grow alongside – Jim Hawkins, Treasure Island is truly a classic. So many things from the book can now be seen in themes across popular culture (such as my favourite bit, ‘the black spot’!). Jim learns plenty of lessons in life along the way as he meets all kinds of characters like the captain, the doctor, the squire, buccaneers, scary Blind Pew and the enigmatic Long John Silver. A special mention must also go to another great pirate story, ‘Moonfleet’, which I also loved reading and helped get me through a wee spell in a children’s hospital.


8. Artemis Fowl by Eion Colfer

When I started reading Artemis Fowl with my Year 6 class, I was starting to wonder if it was all a bit too ridiculous or whether the blurred lines between humour and having such a dark protagonist might have been a bit much for the kids (never mind the complex new vocabulary which my class full of international school students in fact enjoyed). However, the kids soon started to clearly love the story and so did I. A really good example of how to convey a highly unusual setting in such a way that the reader ends up finding it rather plausible (most definitely recommend this over the film!!).


gruffalo cover
No.9: The Gruffalo

9. The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson

The Gruffalo is perhaps my favourite book for younger readers. Never mind the pictures, the story itself is great, with a little lesson hidden inside it too. How can anyone not love a creature as improbable as the Gruffalo? I remember when a school I was working at put on a ‘Gruffalo the Musical’ for a big assembly before the holidays, and it was genuinely terrifying until the end!

stig king cover
No.10: Stig of the Dump

10. Stig of the Dump by Clive King

Stig of the Dump is another favourite that spoke to me as a child. How many of us would have loved to meet a character like the stone-age Stig while wandering about the countryside feeling a bit bored and lonely. As an adult it is certainly something I wouldn’t fancy but as a kid I loved the idea! Being able to teach each other different things and putting ‘modern life’ in perspective, Clive King’s story still has plenty to offer.

Honourable mentions must also to go:



box delights cover borrowers norton cover  machine gunners westall cover boyce millions cover 

diary wimpy kid kinney

The Box of Delights by John Masefield
Scary, gripping, brilliant. A highly original and unforgettable tale.

The Borrowers by Mary Norton
Which child doesn’t want to shrink into a miniature world at least once?

The Machine Gunners by Robert Westall
An involving story of living through a terrible war on the ‘home front’, told through the experiences of a child.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney
The trials and tribulations of a suburban adolescent made me laugh a few times and I like the way the illustrations don't influence the imagination too much.

Millions by Frank Cotrell Boyce – I intend to read this one next!

Which are your favorite children's stories? What is your number one? Leave a comment...

Newsflash: Please note that The 'Smell of Poo' Children's Book Collection is now available in print from today, also on Amazon. Order your copy here:

smell poo children's story book print
The 'Smell of Poo' is now available in print!

Saturday 3 January 2015

Recommended Writing Guides

The Best General Guides to Writing for Children


Thanks to the absolutely brilliant 'Read Liverpool Online Library', I could enjoy (and learn a lot from) the following books:

writing for children cleaver

Absolutely crammed full of good, practical advice as well as plenty of idea examples to help give you a kick start. Cleaver covers all the fundamentals of children's story writing from setting, character and plot to structure and content.
There are endless vocabulary suggestions while there's also quite a comprehensive section on getting published, too. The layout of this guide is concise yet very informative and if this isn't enough for you, there's relevant further reading recommendations in each section of the book as well.



Coppard and Newbery co-wrote this book to great effect, covering just about every aspect of writing that any new children's author would need to know. They speak of their own experiences whilst also drawing on that of other esteemed writers.

It is a well structured and quite comprehensive guide and -along with the other books featured in this post - stands head and shoulders above similar 'guides' I have come across. If you need more than this as a general guide then you will probably need to read a number of books covering the specific content subjects.

Reading this guide from cover to cover is as rewarding as any online course I have seen and it even sets you tasks to help with your ideas and structure.



Some writers refer to this book almost like an aspiring writer's bible and having had a good look through it I can begin to see why.

Full of good advice from authors who have 'been there, done that' - such as JK Rowling and Eion Colfer - it also contains comprehensive listings of publishers and what they publish. I found this dedicated children's writers' edition to be much more useful and inspiring than the general 2015 yearbook which I also recently borrowed from the elibrary.


If you know of any other useful guides to writing for children please share them in the comments box. Also please refer to the 'Writing Guide' page on this blog for more useful hints and tips...